We all wore shalwar kameezes yesterday to join the school celebration of Pakistan Day. This was both a fun and a sad day for me. The Pakistan Day fair at school has always been my favorite school activity, so I became a little sentimental towards the end when I realized this was our last opportunity to celebrate it.

It was hard to say if there were more or better items on sale at the mela, but I was pleased to see some familiar faces among the vendors. I’ve been looking forward to this day, more so than the previous years, because I wanted to get a few more souvenirs of Pakistan before we leave the country for good in June. But James had to be entertained first. We picked a basketball, cricket ball, and cricket hat for him. Well, I made an executive decision on the hat, because James hates hats. I also got him a balloon and quickly pushed the stroller away in the opposite direction while he kept gesturing and making uh-uh noises at more balls and balloons.

We made our way to his dad’s music room, and right outside were the camels, ox cart, and horse cart for children to ride on. That got his attention. Brian finally showed up, munching a paratha roll. We decided to go to the cafeteria so James could have his favorite chapati. Then while Brian looked after James, I did my rounds with the vendors and bought some kurtas, pashmina scarves, bangles, rugs, etc. And of course I didn’t have enough cash. But one vendor graciously told me to just come by his shop whenever I could to pay. And still I didn’t have enough to buy a piece of truck art to add to my collection. Unfortunately the guy doesn’t have a shop in Islamabad either. I was disappointed, while Brian’s reaction can only be described as relieved.

The highlight of the day was of course the assembly program. I was so proud and happy for Brian when the All-Girls Choir sand the Pakistan national anthem acapella and in 3-part harmony. They sang so beautifully, and with just a few hours of practice. It has always been Brian’s goal for years to have his choir perform the national anthem. Now we’re thinking about recording it so it can be played over and over again.

The school hired a coordinator to handle everything, and he brought dancers and musicians to perform traditional dances. I was also looking forward to the Khattak dance, which is a military dance performed with swords. There were also impressive performances by Punjabi dancers and musicians.

I’m not sure anymore what is normal in this town. We hoped, but knew it was not possible to return to normal after the unexpected two-week holiday. It can’t be normal if we can’t go to our favorite restaurants anymore, or if there are more roadblocks, checkpoints, and detours around the city. It can’t be normal when you have battle-hardened soldiers aiming their guns at motorists around government and diplomatic facilities. Yes, it’s been upsetting and depressing since the Marriott blast. All our assumptions about what is safe and secure have changed considerably.

But living under the cloud of more threats and heightened security has not dimmed the dazzling smile of our baby, who remains the sunshine and center of our universe. He will be a year old soon. While he’s still underweight, his development is on schedule and even advanced in some areas. He knows how to get down from a bed and couch. He can open his books to the right pages if you ask him to show you the duck, sheep, tiger, or puppy. And he can also pick out the duck from his toys. His hand-eye coordination is amazing. Minutes after getting a new toy he was already putting the circles through the pegs even though the holes were less than an inch in diameter. He can say Dada and Ayah, too. He will cover himself with his favorite sarong or clothes to play peekaboo. And he’ll wave hi and goodbye. He loves the water very much, and instinctively starts to swim or float even when he’s on his tub. Maybe he’ll be walking soon, but we’re not encouraging him. He’s already giving us a lot of work whenever he climbs stairs, which he loves to do every chance he gets. He understands the words no, stop, wait, dirty, and dangerous  … it doesn’t mean he will obey. He will in fact repeat what he’s doing — like pluck and eat leaves — to see my reaction, then do it again while giggling.

Here’s his latest video, taken this weekend:

So what’s going to happen next? We don’t know. We are currently looking up vacancies in other schools in other countries. But our decision to update our resumes took place months ago, and we sent expressions of interest to a handful of schools the week before the Marriott blast. Do we really want to leave Islamabad? Not entirely; but we knew vacancies for music and computer teachers don’t happen often, so we’re just being proactive. We love our students because we’ve had them for years and know them rather well. We’ve just gotten comfortable living in Islamabad with our baby, and we hate packing and starting all over again. And taking two online courses that make me review the standards, technology resources, and priorities of schools make me proud of mine. Compared to some of my classmates’ schools in the US, we’re doing very well with Smartboards, wireless Internet on campus, as well as regular workshops and stipends for professional development. This just makes it harder for us to find similar schools that will hire us as a teaching couple … A school in a city with minimal pollution, lots of parks, competent nanny, and good health care for James … which Islamabad is.

But, as we love to remind our family and dearest friends: just keep praying for us if you want to stop worrying about us living here.

The high school quad was in a colorful and festive mood today, and this is somewhat rare. For the first time since we taught here several clubs decided to sponsor an activity on the same day: Spirit Week, pep rally, Valentine-gram, smoothie, outdoor Italian lunch, dedicate a pie, dedicate a song, and water bucket game. It was great, everyone was in high spirits and the weather was amazing. I had fun going around taking pictures even though I was using the old 3 megapixel Cybershot because my hubby lost our 7 megapixel camera batteries. As you can see here, the old camera did well.

Later Brian went to Super markaz to buy me roses. The vendor tried to sell him 10 for 1,100 rupees (about $20), probably thinking this foreigner doesn’t know they only cost 200 rupees. As it is Valentine’s Day and there were many customers after the same thing, Brian didn’t mind finally getting the price down to 300 rupees ($5).

Yesterday Brian volunteered to join other teachers in playing against the high school boys soccer team. It was a good enough reason to bring James to school. The sun was shining but it was still very cold, especially in the shade. Once again James slept most of the time, something that he consistently does whenever we bring him to a new place. At least we know the cold didn’t bother him.